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wow, what a week, more highs and lows than something...my mind is slipping. Had a great start to the week, got a lead role in a play which people will have to pay to see :-). Got into a part time course at NIDA, did drag...all in one week. It was brilliant, well it brought brilliance to what otherwise was a difficult week.

The housing arrangement is sorted, i'm soon to get unemployment benefits while i look for a job. Everything that was stressing me out had dissolved. But there was a huge gaping hole, i still felt incredibly sad and troubled.

It's been a tough couple of months, but it sort of seems to be heading downhill. I admitted to my friend the other day that i finally felt it was time for me to find myself a partner. What i meant was i really really need some love of the romantic kind in my life at the moment. I've always paraded myself as a fiercely independent person who doesnt need another soul to get by. And its true i don't. But as time goes by i'm starting to feel uneasy with that idea. You see, i always thought if the person next to me could fall in love, if people in general fall in love, it's bound to happen to me sometime. but it hasn't

I've had my occasional crush, and the fare share of people who want to sleep with me. But i don't connect with these people. If you are alone in a room and feel lonely, then that is perfectly reasonable, but to be in a room full of people and still feel alone is heart breaking.