I can't keep my eyes open

I just got back from coffee with a friend. He seems to be doing ok, maybe a bit depressed, a bit confused, even questioning his sexuality (ding! dng! ding! the warning bells ring). He wants love, a relationship, the softer things in life...but they never come to you, they come to you in the form of a person, and that person you can't buy, pre order and even choose.

It's been a long week, I'm feeling better about my life direction. I'm almost 100% sure that I will be studying film next year. I have ideas that must eventuate one day, and i'm sick of copping out. I met Ben's parents, that was a nerve wracking expereince, i think i was so tense half the time when i left it was like i just finished a heavy weights session. I liked it though, cause he sat next to me, and to see his face everytime i turned to the side was all I needed. I saw him off at the airport and exchanged pressies. He gave me the nicest card EVER!!! and i sneaked in a little note into his book, he seemed pleased with it :-) The hounds of love are chasing me, woof! woof!

I just finished writing a letter to my mother, which i will edit multiple times I'm sure. It's a coming out letter, I got the idea talking to my friend. I just wanna get it over and done with, I want this fog to lift. I know she will go mad over this, she is the drama queen of the family, she will hurt me more than she knows...I will run, just like always. But this time it's different, my heart is softening, I wanna cry! in fact I am.